Life

Weekend Update

Sale PSA: A shawl collar coat from Theory, now 30% off (also the classic Clairene jacket, 25% off when you add to cart), a Le Creuset grill pan, now 53% off (I’m quite tempted as we are cooking lots more), pull on silk twill pants from J.Crew, now 50% off with code FRIDAY (love these actually), and all Loewe bags currently ship both tax free (!!) and are 15% off with code MID15, for a limited time from 24S.

1. It’s Net-A-Porter sale time! Kind of, friends and family at 25%. On a decent (not super great) selection of items on the site. There’s a few goodies though, like this long draped coat, from Toteme.

I used to not be a brown clothing person. I just always ended up going with black. I don’t know if I’m just a follower or what, but suddenly… I love it. So rich and pretty and a wonderful alternative to the blacks and grays that make up most of my wardrobe. I have eyed this Toteme coat for years even though I’m certain it is only for the very tall. But still, had to share it because it’d look gorgeous on one of you I am sure and I still have not found a good dupe of this coat (I like the side slits, colors, etc).

2. Sharing this tragic piece, via Town & Country: The Strange Last Days of Steve Bing.

3. Have you heard of Triller? I have not, but this pice, via the NY Times, was fascinating, about how this new social media app is being developed. On the topic of Ryan Kavanaugh, who is an investor in Triller – check out this oldie but goodie, about the implosion of Relativity Media.

4. Ahh! This week is a good week for articles. And my favorite piece is this, a BONKERS article via The Atlantic, about the lengths parents are going through to get their kids into elite colleges. It is better than it sounds. Read it!

5. This week, I read Minor Feelings, by Cathy Park Hong.

Even though I had read lots of reviews about Hong’s book when it first came out, I had strangely resisted reading this book for a long time. Maybe for the reasons of confusion/shame that Hong goes on to describe in this very book. But once I started reading, I couldn’t stop. It’s a very intelligent dive into Asian-American identity but also simply a page turner, with insights from Hong’s own life.

I recently had a disagreement with someone. It was a small disagreement, about something I said about Trump, and yet was one of the most humiliating racial experiences of my life. In the end, the situation was so awkward that I, the only minority between us, ended up blurting out an apology to the other party. For calling Trump a racist against people like me. For weeks after I have had the worst feelings of absolute shame. Why did I say sorry? Why do I have the need to make situations “easy”, to not inconvenience the majority and make them feel bad? It was only after reading this book that I finally began to better understand my own feelings of regret and shame not only in this interaction, but in many experiences throughout my life. If you are Asian-American, or simply want to understand more of what it is like to be such in America today, I highly recommend Minor Feelings

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    Jenny
    October 23, 2020 at 11:55 am

    I’m so glad that you’re recommending “Minor Feelings” — it was just recommended to me by another friend who is Korean-American and we’ve both been expressing the similar feelings (I’m Chinese-American). One plug I really want to throw in is for folks to really consider ordering from a local bookstore because they’re hurting. The Strand is hurting with 70% of their revenue being down, so I feel like if a giant and beloved book store like Strand is feeling it, it must be so much worse elsewhere. I adore Green Apple Books in SF so I’ll be buying my copy over there (aaaaand swinging by Schubert’s for a slice of their Swedish princess cake — SO GOOD).

    • Reply
      Kat
      October 25, 2020 at 4:00 pm

      Yes true, I was so happy to see the long lines at Strand that were posted this weekend!

  • Reply
    Lilian
    October 23, 2020 at 12:38 pm

    My heart hurts for you. It’s our default as women and people of color to apologize – we find ourselves telling people that we’re sorry we exist, or that we’re really feeling the impact of whatever oppression it is we’re experiencing.
    I forget who it was – Roxanne Gay or Chimamanda – who said that we shrink ourselves and apologize for the discomfort of others in our presence, or their discomfort hearing about our experiences.
    You’re not alone. Hopefully we get to the other side of this nightmare the stronger for it, and that our kiddos will have it easier.
    Be well!

    • Reply
      Kat
      October 25, 2020 at 4:00 pm

      Thank you so much Lilian and as you know I have loved your insights during this period. Crossing fingers for the next few weeks.

  • Reply
    heebie-geebie
    October 27, 2020 at 6:31 am

    As much as I enjoyed the Atlantic article, it probably needs more scrutiny: https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/10/24/ruth-shalit-just-wrote-atlantic-would-readers-know-it-byline/

    • Reply
      Kat
      October 27, 2020 at 8:43 am

      Really interesting background! Thank you for sharing this!

  • Reply
    Rachel
    November 30, 2020 at 10:40 am

    I’m catching up on your posts about a month late, but wow at the backstory about the Atlantic article! I feel like we’ll hear more about the author. Sometimes the background is more fascinating than the topic itself…

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