Life

Baby Times Two – 8 Week Update

Sale PSA: One of my favorite plain t’s, from Madewell, now just $16, a very pretty embroidered eyelet dress from Joie, now $131, an asymmetrical merino pullover (very flattering) from Eileen Fisher, now 50% off, and a striped shirtdress from Rebecca Taylor (very pretty and feminine), now $150. 

A few designer items originally from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale are now 60% off, including this Veronica Beard Dickey jacket, Alexander Wang black lace up dress, FRAME black skinny jeans (now under $100), and  and Rag & Bone piped blazer. Enjoy! 

Baby #2 is eight weeks this week, and I thought I’d post a little update on how everything is going. Thank you again for all your kind words of encouragement and comments – and I’m sorry I’ve been behind on the posting and responding lately. I hope I can catch up soon!

In the meantime, a few pieces of advice, and my thoughts on life with another baby –

1. First of all – it’s getting better! Because I’ll be honest, the first week was really hard. I basically forgot everything I ever knew about newborns and was in total shock that I now had created another life form that cried every hour. And if you think that might be your life for the foreseeable future…of course you sink into a pit of gloom. But it’s gotten so much better and I think if someone had just told me that line, over and over again my first week, I would have done a lot better. Sometimes you just have to hear out loud, what’s logical. It gets better. It gets better!

2. Next, my answer to the question that I know I asked everyone with multiple children  – is two kids two times harder than one? 

My answer is that it’s actually around 1.5X. But largely because you don’t do a lot of stuff with baby #2 that you did with #1. With Baby #1, we treated him like a little emperor. Drawing a bath? Measure the water temperature precisely with a special thermometer. Swaddle kind of maybe touched a tiny bit of the ground? Throw it in the wash. Baby crying for no reason? He must be bored, as he’s a genius. Quick, fetch the Einstein gizmo!

With Baby #2, we do none of that. To be honest, she’s kind of like a potted plant that we drag around. I still coo at her, and play with her and love and nuzzle her. But all that extra worrisome pampering…that’s all gone. If I had known what I knew with Baby #2 with Baby #1…man, I would have had such an easier time.

3. Am I glad that I spaced my kids (relatively) close together? Yes and no. Yes because I only want two and now we’re done…but honestly, in retrospect, I think it would have also been good to wait a little longer. My son wasn’t yet two years old when our daughter was born…he was still a baby himself. And it’s a hard transition! Not to mention the guilt you feel yourself. I checked out of the hospital less than 24 hours after I checked in (and that’s including labor), just because I felt so bad to be away from him.

4. Finally, my one piece of advice, to those who are considering their second.  If you have one kid (or none), have a list of experiences/destinations you want to do/see, and are always saying to yourself, I should really do this but…and if the rest is “it costs money,” my advice would be – DO IT. If it doesn’t put you in debt or financial jeopardy of course.  Then DO IT. If its a matter of buying things vs experiences…choose the latter, every time. Otherwise, you may not get the chance again for years and years. I now curse every time I think about those wasted holiday breaks when it was just my husband and I, and we didn’t go to Mexico, or Vietnam, or Austria, or Hangzhou, just because it was too much work/more expensive/too many holiday days. If I had known, I would have done them all. Back then, we thought if we just skipped something, we could make up for it in a few months, or maybe a year. Now? It’s like…five years down the line.

But overall, and yes I know I say it all the time – it’s been worth it. I’m happy to be on this adventure with #2, and thank you all again for being here with me.

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  • Anna
    September 11, 2017 at 8:10 am

    OMG! Congratulations Kat! She is soooo adorable! And it’s heart-melting to see them two together!! I wish I had heard advice #4 before I had my baby! But I think I might have heard it but just didn’t register or act upon it, ha! Thank you for sharing your journey with us. My first one is four month now. There are struggles but overall we felt so happy and lucky to have her! Wishing you and the family all the best!

    • Katherine
      September 11, 2017 at 10:45 pm

      Thank you and congratulations to you, too! I heard the same about #4 but you’re right…it didn’t register. Enjoy your little one, crawling will be coming up soon!

  • Nina
    September 11, 2017 at 9:21 am

    Awww, I love this kind of posts! Your children are adorable : ) I am happy you got a baby girl to inherit your dreamy handbags.

    • Katherine
      September 11, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Thank you! That’s what my husband says, ha!

  • irina
    September 11, 2017 at 9:47 am

    Good morning, Kat – this photo is precious, they are wonderful and look exactly the same:) Congratulations again, and thank you for sharing your experience. I’m off to book a trip.

    • Katherine
      September 11, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Good morning! Thank you…and yes, book that trip!

  • Ammu
    September 11, 2017 at 9:53 am

    What a beautiful family! They are gorgeous.
    Glad you are doing well 🙂

    • Katherine
      September 11, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Thank you Ammu! I hope you are doing well!

  • Susie Tunes
    September 11, 2017 at 10:52 am

    Beautiful children. Thankyou for being so frank as always,
    Xx

    • Katherine
      September 11, 2017 at 10:47 pm

      Thank you Susie!

  • Emily
    September 11, 2017 at 1:05 pm

    Congrats! Point #2 gives me some reassurance, since my kids will be 21 months apart by the time my 2nd pops out in December. If I wasn’t already in my mid-30s, I would have wanted a bit more space between my kids but that’s on me for not getting #1 out sooner! Lol…my one reassurance is that #1 won’t have any memory of being an only child in the longterm. 😉

    • Katherine
      September 11, 2017 at 10:47 pm

      Your point about the only child is a great one and one of the benefits. You’ll do great…and I had the same mid-30s issue 🙂

  • Lesley
    September 11, 2017 at 2:06 pm

    Omg yes, yes, yes and yes!!!!! You said it perfectly!!!

    They are SO adorable. I love that your son loves his little sister. We are still working on my son loving his little brother. I keep wondering if I had a girl if it would be different..but there’s no way to find out bc we are also done!!!

    Traveling with the kiddos this wknd for a family wedding. Only a 1.5hr flight but I’m anxious!

    • Katherine
      September 11, 2017 at 10:48 pm

      Good luck this weekend! And I’m sure your son will warm up to his little brother soon!

  • S
    September 11, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Hi Katherine,
    What a lovely pic. Thanks for sharing. Reminds me of my kids at that age 🙂
    So true what you said about how we ‘treat the first one like an emperor’ !!! With a baby girl, there is so much more choice with the pretty cute things you can buy!!
    As for traveling – it’s do-able, albeit a bit differently as there are the tiny ones to consider. I can say that because we did travel a lot even when they were small. I always carried basic medication and made sure there was a doctor available just in case, but of course , you have to consider your own comfort level to travel with small children.
    Enjoy this special time!

    • Katherine
      September 11, 2017 at 10:48 pm

      Thank you! And great point about the medication, I’ll do that going forward.

  • Anonymous
    September 11, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    Your kids may be the cutest kids I’ve ever seen!!!!!! Your son is such a handsome little guy and your daughter looks like your son (from the pics you’ve posted of him on the blog) 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing!!!! I love babies lol!

    • Katherine
      September 11, 2017 at 10:49 pm

      Thanks so much! And I’ve become someone who loves babies, ha! I smile at all of them now!

  • Monica G.
    September 11, 2017 at 6:16 pm

    Katherine, thank you so much for your honest parenting advice. It’s so difficult to navigate through life in your late-twenties to early thirties when you’re in the “anti-kid camp”. My friends all think I’m crazy because I don’t feel the urge to have children. Your parenting posts make me feel less like biological pariah and more like an actual human being. I now have faith that I can lead a fulfilling life AND be a mom if I suddenly decided to have kids someday.

    P.S. Congratulations on your new baby girl. You have a beautiful family 🙂

    • Katherine
      September 11, 2017 at 10:50 pm

      Aww thank you Monica, that makes me feel very good, especially as I do worry that I’ve become one of those moms who can only prattle on about their children. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for yourself and will be entirely fulfilled in whatever choice it is.

  • christinebrightside
    September 12, 2017 at 2:03 am

    Congratulations on #2, Katherine! And thanks for your honest words, as always! Really enjoyed reading it, “the emperor” made my day 😉

  • Candice
    September 12, 2017 at 2:21 am

    Thank you so much for this wonderful post. I’m very happy for you. Now you already got 2 beautiful kids, a boy and a girl at that! How blessed you are! Thanks for being so truthful on all the topics discussed in this article about baby no. 2. Love the topic on # 2 and 4! It’s always great reading your updates on motherhood/ family life!

  • Anonymous
    September 12, 2017 at 6:53 am

    Your babies are so precious. Congratulations! Love your motherhood posts; they are some of my favorite (and I enjoy all of your posts)!

  • AKY
    September 12, 2017 at 10:44 am

    Congratulations Katherine!
    I remember when my son was little reading how the days are long, but the years are short. It’s so true! After he turned 5, the time just flies. He is almost 11 now and I don’t know how he got so big.
    Enjoy every stage and you will travel again and see the world through your kids’ eyes and that has been the best experience for us!

  • Michelle
    September 13, 2017 at 11:53 am

    Hang in there Kat! It will get better! Great insights and advice!
    I know everyone says to treasure every moment but when the going gets tough, it’s hard to appreciate. I totally get that. God forbid anyone who tells me to chill or relax 😉 I do not take that kindly at all!
    Enjoy the good bits and it is OK not to enjoy every single moment.
    It is amazing how fast they grow and it seems like yesterday when they were little babies.

  • Nvie
    September 14, 2017 at 1:51 am

    Congratulations Kat. 8 weeks already? I know, faster for us than mommy.

    Managing two is definitely challenging even more so with both under 2 years old. I agree with pacing but sometimes things don’t happen our way. I wanted a closer gap but couldn’t, now managing two boys, 8 and 3. The age gap doesn’t really mean anything except that we don’t have to baby the eldest but he acts like one!

    Completely agree on the traveling part and I’ve done those god forsaken countries before I had them and I’m so so glad I did it. Now I just have to wait for the 3 year old to be at least 5 before we can start traveling long haul. Meantime, we are happy with short trips to ‘direct flight’ destinations! Many ask me to have another one, try for a girl, first thing that came to mind is oh no, another 5 years set back when it comes to traveling!

    Take care and they do grow up fast, yeah, you can say that when your youngest is 3. Somehow time flies with the youngest. 😑

  • Amy
    September 14, 2017 at 8:42 am

    Glad things are going well — and it will continue to get better! I thought having two was double the work — more than your 1.5x — but now that the older one is 3 and the younger one is 1, I can go out for an excursion with them with really minimal baby supplies. Being close in age, they entertain each other endlessly — we’ve hardly bought any toys for #2 because playing with and observing her big sister is the best entertainment and education.

    And yeah, with #2 we just roll with it — and she does too. She’s much more easygoing than her older sister, I think because we’re more relaxed. Now when I see the knots first-time moms tie themselves into (one said to me the other day, ‘You’re traveling with your kids? Are you going to bring blackout curtains?’), I just chuckle and think, We all get there, but there’s only one way to do it, and that’s to experience it yourself!