Life With Baby – Six Months

I last checked in on how life was going, post baby, about five months ago. Since its been about six months now since baby Feather’s arrival, I thought I’d do another update on life with baby. Thank you all by the way, for your feedback and words of encouragement! It’s been wonderful to read about all of your experiences and thoughts on children. Please keep commenting and sharing!

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1. We moved. I had always planned to spend our first few years with baby Feather in our condo – yes things would be cramped, but a smaller space would make us rationalize our items and we would have made it work. As things turned out however, Mr. Feather and I ended up randomly finding a home we both liked (quite rare, as our tastes are quite different), and decided to make a move.

We probably had the worst timing ever in terms of having a baby and moving – we ended up closing escrow just a few weeks after baby Feather’s arrival, and almost missed our deadline due to the craziness. Compound that with a small remodeling project (do any remodels ever feel small?) and multiple moves, and it was a super stressful past six months. But now, things finally feel like they’re settling down, though we still have some empty rooms in need of furniture.

2. I’m back to my pre-baby weight (I hit it around 2 months postpartum) but my body is completely different. There’s been what I would call a “redistribution” if you will…and it it’s not how I would have chosen to allocate things, if you get my drift! I mention this because I had no idea that my body would change in this way – I thought that once I got back to my original weight, things would be back to “normal”. But now, there’s a new normal.

For those who asked about when and how I lost weight, I’ve thought about it and I didn’t do anything particularly special, except for breastfeed and run around catering to a baby all day long. I do always make time to eat whenever I want, and as much as I want. I’ve realized it’s important to have energy and feel well nourished…I’m not sure how I’d get through the days otherwise!

Also, one of baby Feather’s naps each day usually takes place in the stroller. He’s very used to having a walk, and gets a bit antsy if he doesn’t have it after a few days. So it’s been very good incentive, for me to walk almost every day….and the longer I walk, the longer he naps!

3. I’m taking more time off of work to be with baby. I actually stressed a lot about the career implications of my pregnancy, and always thought that I’d go back to work super quickly after having a baby. Kind of like Marissa Mayer style…well, minus several hundred million or so. But now, I’ll likely be home close to a year. I actually feel pretty guilty about my decision to take more time. Like I’m Leaning…Out. But things just happened this way, and I love my time with baby Feather. I’ve invested a lot in my career the last ten years, and I hope that will give me the flexibility now to take some time away.

4. Being at home with baby has been lonely, but also incredible. As I mentioned earlier, we recently moved, and our new neighborhood is pretty quiet. Even on the days with the most beautiful weather, I’m often the only adult outside walking…and unless it’s raining, me and baby take a walk every single day. My mom’s joined me on a few occasions and asked, “Aren’t you lonely walking by yourself all the time?”

Sometimes, my walks can be lonely, or feel a little monotonous…and honestly, so can some of my days. I used to have a life where I woke up each morning and went to an office, had a P&L, and interacted with at least 20 different people. I left the house whenever I wanted. I had some nice long holidays, and I was even lucky enough to spend the odd weekend with my husband in Paris, or Miami. Now, I’m already fortunate in that I usually see friends and my mom at least 3-4 days a week. But there’s still days that are just me and baby.

My father passed away 18 months ago. And since then, I’ve thought more about death. Not in a morose or depressing way, I hope you understand….but I do think about dying, all the time. I remember when my dad was lying in his bed, no longer able to stand up or move, and him saying to me how he’d just like to go outside one more time.

I often think about if it were my last few days on earth, what I’d like to do. Go back to Bali. Re-read a few of my favorite books. The list goes on. Whenever I’m outside walking with baby Feather, and I’ve been by myself in silence for an hour, just walking, and walking… I can feel alone. But at the same time, I also know that it’s precisely what I’d want to be doing if it were my last day here on earth. Did you know that you could feel tinges of loneliness coupled with absolute joy? I didn’t, until now.

And that about sums up my life – six months after baby.

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  • Sonya
    February 8, 2016 at 8:05 am

    Beautiful post.

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      Thank you Sonya!

  • Olivia
    February 8, 2016 at 9:32 am

    Happy Chinese New Year! Sorry to hear of your father’s passing. Congratulations on baby Feather at 6 months and your new home.

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      Happy Chinese New Year Olivia and thank you 🙂

  • Sarah
    February 8, 2016 at 9:34 am

    Great post! Do you live in California? Do correct me if I am wrong, but there are lots of yoga classes, mommy & todler style you could join. They are usually great fun and social occasions to meet other mums and do things together.

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:05 pm

      Hi Sarah, yes I do 🙂 Yes I think I’ll join one of those sooner or later – you are a great inspiration to do yoga, as you always look wonderful with fabulous posture to boot!

  • Revanche
    February 8, 2016 at 10:06 am

    Happy Lunar New Year!

    I somehow missed both the loss of your father and the first month update so I’m glad I had a minute this morning. And a move! That’s amazing, especially during the post-birth period.

    Your choice to stay home for a while longer is so great – it’s not everyone who can choose to do that but (maybe because I’m older than many of my contemporaries with kids) it’s such a wonderful thing to be able to choose it. I feel that my ability to be home with LB is a direct result of building my career over the last decade and change as well, and that was the whole point! Well, that or a huge sabbatical if we didn’t have kids 🙂 I understand that guilt though. Even as I was arranging my leave, I had this weird conflicting feeling that I was going to hobble my career long term. Again, being able to take that time was the whole point and yet when it came time, I felt like I was making a mistake or something and would be negatively judged. Ugh, I strongly dislike that about our society that claims to be all about family values, because which family are they talking about?? /rant.

    Baby Feather is adorable, of course, look at that smile!

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:06 pm

      Happy New Year! I understand your rant…don’t even get me started on maternity leave in the US, it makes me so frustrated that we say we support mothers and women, yet there is no federal leave…at least we are lucky enough to be in California.

  • Mod
    February 8, 2016 at 10:18 am

    Wow- what a moving post…

    I’m sorry to hear about your dad- you always had great tidbits to share about him. One that comes to mind is when you caught him sleeping in his car prior to meeting you for lunch (I hope I remembered that one correctly!).

    And I appreciate you talking about your personal experience with family and career. I’m a professional in my late 20s and I am becoming more and more aware of gender impact on careers, whereas previously when I was younger, I almost found it irrelevant to me.

    Congratulations on so many things- the 6 month of your baby, your new house, getting back to your pre-baby weight, and what seems like a new peace of mind!

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:07 pm

      Hi Mod, great memory and yes you are right! I was like you, it didn’t make an impact for me at all but as I got along later in my career, gender definitely has played a bigger role.

  • Teresa
    February 8, 2016 at 10:52 am

    First time commenting (though been a long time follower)
    Thank you for sharing such a moving post about family and career. I’m in my mid 20s but your words gave great encouragement and insight.
    The bit about staying home longer..somehow reminded me of my highschool days when my Chinese parents stressed the importance of working hard first so I can reap the rewards later on. I guess my takeaway is that investment in my career early on will also give my future family more options 🙂

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:07 pm

      Thanks for commenting for the first time Teresa 🙂

  • DK
    February 8, 2016 at 11:03 am

    Happy New Year! So sorry to hear about your dad’s passing. I hope things are getting better with each passing day.

    Thank you for updating on your life after baby, it’s always nice to hear another mother’s perspective. It’s wonderful that you were able to get back down to your pre-pregnancy weight in 2 months. I completely understand the shifting of your body. I actually lost a little more than my pre-pregnancy weight after a few months. I was so excited to try on my old clothes that didn’t fit before. To my dismay, even though I weighed less, my clothes didn’t fit as well as they used to. Oh well, at least I have two wonderful boys to show for it. 🙂

    I think it’s great that you are taking more time to be with your son. Before I had children, I never thought I could be a stay-at-home mom since I enjoyed working so much. After my first son was born, it was so difficult to go back to work, all I wanted to do was stay home with him. I now wish I could be a stay-at-home mom, at least until my sons start kindergarten. You definitely shouldn’t feel guilty about staying home more. They only stay young for so long.

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:08 pm

      Happy New Year DK! I am going through the exact same thing with my clothes..and I went through the same thing when I was working too, never imagined that I’d actually want to stay home and spend so much time with my son. I hope you get to spend as much time as you wish with yours 🙂

      • DK
        February 9, 2016 at 6:41 am

        Thank you!

  • Elaine
    February 8, 2016 at 11:43 am

    Thanks so much for sharing! My second daughter is 10 months old now. I went back to work when she was 5-month. I was happy that I had my quality time with her but at the same time I was ready to return to my “normal” life. I’m glad that you’re able to make a decision that works best for you 🙂 Treasure and enjoy your precious time with your son!

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      Hi ELaine, thanks for sharing your experience – and I can definitely relate to wanting to return to your normal life.

  • Jill
    February 8, 2016 at 1:10 pm

    Wonderful post. Baby Feather is a dreamboat. Those eyes! That smile! I’m sorry to hear of your father’s loss. He would’ve have loved your little boy! Re body changes, I want to chime in and say you may find the bod changes again after a full year of giving birth and some more after another year. Just my experience! I remember the feelings of loneliness you describe but I think you made the right choice because you cannot get the time back of being with your firstborn in their beginning stages of life. I’m not a big fan of that Lean In business anyway. I understand it, I get it, especially for people who spent time and money becoming lawyers, doctors, accountants, architects, investment specialists, etc., but having a baby is tough and the adjustment afterward can be tough, and I think if a mother has an opportunity to stay home for awhile she should. (Side note re the Lean In/Lean Out debate, I hope Sheryl is leaning out a bit these days. With her husband’s very sad death their children need her more than ever!). I agree with commenters who have suggested Baby & Me classes. Baby Feather is at the right age now! Also, this may seem weird, but have you thought about training for a marathon? Even a half-marathon? You are such a thinker and the fact that you are able to be alone for long periods of time and seem mentally tough make me think you’d make a terrific marathoner! It’s a great goal! I did my first one when my son was 2, so I trained when he was one. Just a thought! Great post, sorry to go on (and on and on). x

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      Thanks Jill! I will try out the Baby/Mommy type classes soon – you are right that he is getting to a better age now! I am very flattered that you think I’d be a good marathoner…and its an amazing achievement that you did you trained for your first while your son was 1! I am a very poor runner but I’d like to think that one day I’d get to do maybe a half marathon!

  • sherry @ save. spend. splurge.
    February 8, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    I love this. I am vowing to enjoy being alone with Baby Bun, take him out for more walks even though I am scared it is too cold for him and to just allow myself to be alone with thoughts rather than always feeling like I should fill the void with music, shows, reading, etc…

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:11 pm

      Thank you, and I hope you do get to spend some good time with Baby Bun 🙂 Just put plenty of layers on and he’ll be nice and cozy.

  • Mica
    February 8, 2016 at 2:05 pm

    We stayed in our townhome with our first baby and I was too cramped, tired and cooped up in the cold spring in Chicago weather to handle staying home. I will say with our 2nd baby, we were in a new open house, in better weather and I wanted to stay home desperately. It’s interesting how our environment changes our perspective. I say honor what you are doing and feeling right now and know that it’s all going to be fine in the end. Lots of love to you, Mr. Feather and Baby Feather.

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:11 pm

      Thank you so much Mica, and that’s interesting about different environments bringing out different feelings on wanting to stay home. I can understand it though!

  • Yuet
    February 8, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    Hi Katherine and Happy Lunar New Year, the first with baby feather! Gosh, he is so darn cute! Thanks so much for sharing this updated photo of him. And congrats on your new home. And I am with you on the heavy heart and sadness of losing your dad. It’s been four years for me and I miss my dad every single day of my life. But I’m sure we both remember our dads with much love. Be happy and enjoy your precious moments with the baby, because they grow up so quickly, as my two are now in college in CA, while I’m home in snowy NY.

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:13 pm

      Happy New Year Yuet! I’m sorry about your father and you are right that the memories are so precious. I can’t imagine baby Feather going to college – I’m sure the time will have seem to have flown by!

  • Whitney Farris
    February 8, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    I understand about the weight allocation. Oh, how well I know! I’ve lived with it for almost 21 years… Bebe is grown up now. After grinning and bearing it…….not so much, I have surgery scheduled March 1. Better late than never! An investment in my mental and physical well being.

    I understand the loneliness too, but it is time you’ll never be able to get back. They grow so quickly, cherish every little second you have with him. His hair is precious, l always called it dandelion hair. I loved when Slade’s hair looked like that……and that baby breath! Oh, how I loved that.

    My ex husband and I bought and did major remodeling on a historic home. I was pregnant at the time, very ill and the stress level was out the roof!

    I am very sorry to hear about your father. My grandmother died when Slade was not yet two. A new life in,and a older life out …..DEVASTATING! It took me many months to come to grips with that.

    My life has taken many twists and turns, but I am exactly where I should be at peace, with myself and the world.

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:13 pm

      Hi Whitney, thanks for sharing your experience and I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. That must have been so upsetting.

      Good for you for the surgery and I’m sure you will look and feel spectacular!

  • Jules
    February 8, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Love your honesty so much, thank you!

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:14 pm

      Thanks Jules 🙂

  • flawlessskinday
    February 8, 2016 at 6:37 pm

    “Re-distribution” Seriously,,, you are so good at making me laugh.
    That’s exactly the word I used after few month of post-pregnancy while one depressing day when nothing in my closet seemed to fit. My weight was back to where it was, but some how….things didn’t fit….Right~ you know what I mean. Loose where it’s not supposed to be and tight where it’s definitely not supposed to be. I had to say good bye to so many pairs of heels (I was so sad, those were with me in my twenties when I walked all the way from uptown NYC to Soho…ahhhh good days!). I congratulate you on being able to take time off with baby feather. I know what you mean, It’s odd to be home when you are supposed to running to/from meetings. Trust me, it’s odd at first, but you will not regret this precious time you got to have with your son. They do grow up so fast. You should congratulate yourself for being able to work so hard in the last 10years, so now you can focus on your baby. I would join you for your walk, but just my thoughts/blogs since I’m all the way in E.C.

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:15 pm

      Thank you! Yes my heels have largely been sitting, neglected as well…not to mention a bunch of my jeans, those have been the hardest to fit “right” for me postpartum.

  • Yumi
    February 8, 2016 at 6:54 pm

    Happy Lunar New Year Katherine! This is a such wonderful and well-thought out post.

    Honestly, I was surprised that you took more than a few weeks time off only because it sounded like your career was such a big part of your life. But I think it’s good that you did because despite what “Lean In” preaches, I believe that we are greater than our careers and it’s healthy to take a holistic approach towards life. One theory I have about why more women lean out is that we’re better as seeing the big picture and recognize the impacts of our choices in the long-term.

    I’m so sorry about the loss of your father; I always loved your stories about him.

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:15 pm

      Thank you Yumi, and happy NY!
      I was very surprised too to take more time off 🙂 I love your line about being greater than our careers…its perfect for how I was feeling when I decided to take more time.

  • Anonymous
    February 8, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    I have bipolar II. There’s definitely a profound sense of being alone in the disease (none of my friends or family have it, nor would I wish them to) and sadness about the time I wasted pre-diagnosis, but also a freedom – and yes, joy – in knowing I can make things right. So sorry to hear about your dad.

    • Katherine
      February 8, 2016 at 8:16 pm

      Thank you for sharing your experience and I’m very glad that you finally were able to get the right diagnosis.

  • Diana
    February 8, 2016 at 8:06 pm

    Motherhood sounds hard but rewarding! What a cutie.

    I had no idea that you moved, maybe we can come visit you sometime! 🙂

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:36 pm

      Yes come visit! 🙂

  • Anna
    February 8, 2016 at 8:42 pm

    Such beautiful writing I cried reading this… the part about your father reminded me about my beloved grandma … The part about loneliness and absolute joy, resonate so much inside me… I’m so happy for you to have found piece and joy in the loneliness of raising a baby and the aftermath of losing a beloved one, feather!

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:28 pm

      Thanks so much Anna, and I’m sorry to hear about your grandma.

  • S
    February 9, 2016 at 2:08 am

    Hi Katherine,
    Your post felt like a letter from a friend.
    I am sorry about your dad’s loss. My father passed away 2 years before my son was born, so I can understand your feelings. Your baby boy is absolutely adorable, what a sweet smile!
    Enjoy the baby days – kids grow up so quickly. I can empathize with how you feel about taking the break from your career, but I think you are doing great – your blog, the lovely necklaces and of course you have your pre pregnancy weight back!
    I always love reading what you have to say and the fantastic reading recommendations you make.
    Thank you!

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:29 pm

      Thank you S, and I’m sorry to hear about your father as well. I’m so glad that you find the reading recommendations helpful! 🙂

  • Vanessatime
    February 9, 2016 at 5:49 am

    Dear Katherine,
    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post, I can relate with that. Im sorry about your dad’s loss, always love to read the story about him. My father died 3 years ago because of lung cancer, miss him dearly, since that I always think what I would like to do if my days were ended soon.
    Congratulation on your new home, and your son is so handsome and adorable. Enjoy every precious moments with him, because they grow up so fast. My boys now are 18 and 15, the oldest will leave for collage this year, it just like yesterday I brought them home from hopital.
    I love your blog, always enjoy reading it. And, thank you for following me in IG.

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:30 pm

      Dear Vanessa, thank you for your words and I’m very sorry to hear about your father. I can’t believe you have sons that are 18 and 15, you look way younger on IG! 🙂

  • bisbee
    February 9, 2016 at 6:29 am

    Such a lovely post – you really are a gifted writer!

    I agree with a lot of what others have said…I’m far, far removed from having babies, but I do recall that your body shape can change throughout the first year or two after giving birth. So…your new normal might not be forever!

    Secondly, my condolences on the loss of your father. It is a very difficult thing, and unfortunately, part of life. That fact, I’m sure, plays a big part in your feelings of loneliness, but I do encourage you to reach out and find some “Mommy and Me” classes of some sort. Meeting other women with small children will do wonders. Please do more than just think about it – I’m sure you will be pleasantly surprised with the results!

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:30 pm

      Thank you bisbee…and oh man, more body changes! Can’t wait to see what else is in store, lol.

  • Alison
    February 9, 2016 at 7:29 am

    Dear Katherine,

    What a lovely post, thank you so much for sharing. I’m a long way from newborn babies, but I will never forget that conflicted feeling of joy and loneliness that started when I made the decision to stay home 26 years ago. I always planned to be a stay at home mom, so I was surprised at how hard it was to let go of the work world when the time came. So for a social person like me, I really had to find a new set of friends, and that takes time. I really logged a lot of time at our local park, trolling for friends, trying not to look too desperate – ha! Finding friends with children the same ages was a godsend, I needed some adult conversation everyday, even if it was just 45 minutes at the park. Nothing comes close to that special relationship with your own newborn baby, and I really felt lucky to be able to stay home, because trite as it is, they grow up too fast. And I really found some wonderful friends that I still keep in touch with today!

    Best of luck to you and your wonderful family.


    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:31 pm

      Thanks Alison! I laughed at loud at trolling for friends…the perfect description for what I feel like I’m doing sometimes when I spy the same mom at the park a few days in a row, lol!

  • Ilona
    February 9, 2016 at 9:35 am

    Beautiful and heartfelt words… Baby Feather is lucky!

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:31 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

  • Sammie
    February 9, 2016 at 10:31 am

    Hi Kat,

    I really loved reading this post. I have had 2 kids in the past 3 years and chose to leave my “career” to be a SAHM. Sometimes, I wonder if it was the right decision career wise, but there is no doubt that it was the right decision for my family. Enjoy your time off with baby feather (he is SO adorable, btw). You have the rest of your life to work.

    Sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I too, enjoyed the tidbits you shared about him, especially the picture of him waiting for you in his car (IG).

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:33 pm

      Hi Sammie, thanks so much for your words of encouragement and sharing your own experiences…2 kids in 3 years, sounds so doable but now I know how hard it is!

  • Jane
    February 9, 2016 at 6:22 pm

    Happy Chinese New Year! This is a beautiful and thoughtful post. Baby feather is a cutie!
    I took a break from my career when my kids were born. I had some misgivings about it at first since I worked a long time to get to where I was at, but after a while, I found my groove with my kiddos and haven’t really looked back. I figured that I can get another job in the future since I still have my credentials, but the time with my babies, I’ll never get that back because they really do grow up so fast.

    I was sad to hear about your father. I still remembered the photo you shared of you and your father at graduation; it reminded me a lot of my dad.

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:34 pm

      Hi Jane, thank you…and always nice to hear from people who went through what you’re going through. I’m glad to hear that you didn’t regret your decision.

  • Sonya
    February 9, 2016 at 7:10 pm

    I forgot to tell you Katherine that I too took time off from work. The only person who looked down on me was my mother!

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:34 pm

      LOL! Sounds like a tiger mom to me!

  • v
    February 10, 2016 at 7:26 am

    Katherina, I have been a long time reader, but this is my first time commenting. Your story touches my heart so much that it moved me to comment. Thank you for sharing and bringing us along for the ride. I have always admired the voice that comes across in your blog: humble, smart and sincere. Baby feather is unbelievably adorable!!!

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:34 pm

      Hi V, thanks so much for commenting and for your sweet words about baby Feather 🙂

      • v
        February 11, 2016 at 8:26 am

        Apologies for misspelling your name! Of course I know your name is Katherine! Dooh. 🙂

  • Jane
    February 10, 2016 at 10:27 am

    Hi Katherine,
    First, I am so sorry for the recent loss of your father.

    Your post was so lovely, and so true to my own experiences as well. I remember feeling very lonely as a new parent, and it took me a long time to make friends and find out what worked for me. Don’t be disappointed if you try a mother/baby group and it doesn’t fit, it just means you haven’t found the right one yet. As for taking time off of work, I found that the hard work I put in earlier in my career helped me earn flexibility upon my return. I know it will be the same for you. The time with our babies is so fleeting, I wish I could go back and do it again, even though it was so hard to be a new parent. I worked with my first, stayed home for five years when my second was a baby, and now am back at work again. Work will be there, when you’re ready, although it didn’t seem that way when I was a SAHM. However, I’m so glad that I took the time, I think it was invaluable for me and my children.

    All my best wishes,

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:35 pm

      Hi Jane, I’m glad to hear that you were able to return easily..thanks so much for sharing your experience and encouragement 🙂

  • christine brightside
    February 10, 2016 at 11:55 am

    katherine, sorry to hear about your loss (maybe I missed it on your blog, read it now for the first time). I was shocked and sorry that your dad did not have the chance to meet his lovely grandson. I still remember your father, e.g. from your wedding photos that you shared and I had to smile because he was just such a (hope this doesn’t sound disrespectful) cute man, bless.

    • Katherine
      February 10, 2016 at 8:36 pm

      Hi Christine, thank you – not rude at all, he was cute, lol! I never mentioned it on my blog earlier so this was the first time.

  • Mercy
    February 10, 2016 at 8:37 pm

    Happy CNY and Valentine’s day in advance. This is a deep kind of writing from you but I enjoyed reading it. I’m not sure if you’re still experiencing baby blues because you find joy being with your baby. Probably it’s just brought by your new and quiet surrounding. But I tell you few more months or maybe when you go back to work you will also resume travelling with your family. I travelled with my baby last month abroad after a year and a half of not going anywhere. And now we are planning for our next overseas trip. Take care!

    • Katherine
      February 11, 2016 at 8:13 am

      Hi Mercy, great to hear that you are able to take so many trips! Was 1.5 years a good time to start overseas travel with your baby?

      • flawlessskinday
        February 11, 2016 at 6:37 pm

        I’m sure Mercy and others have fabulous trip ideas to add, but I wanted to share my experience just because it seemed like you enjoyed traveling a lot pre-baby(got the idea just from your posts that I enjoyed reading~^^). I took my girl on international trips with hubby, without hubby about half dozen times in about 5 years. The first international trip was when she was about 7month old just her and myself. My husband I took her on domestic flight when she was about 5-6month old for our first family of three vacation. It worked, of course I had to hold her a lot and walk up and down the aisles more during international trip, but people were nice to me since they knew that the moment she started fussing, I stood up to rock her, she calmed down. Some old ladies offered to hold her just so I can rest a bit, but my daughter gave them a death stare lol, It also helped to have her formulas, foods, all measured and ready (I carried disposable bottle filler that already had measured formulas, all I had to was just pour already measured distilled water(already in another bottle) into that bottle filler, shake it then toss the filler when she was done. Before the first long international trip, I did make sure I had an appointment with her pediatrician to discuss vaccine info and to make sure there’s no ear infection or any kind of infection. She was old enough for children’s motrin, so I carried it with me as her pediatrician recommended. I didn’t mean to leave you another long reply, but every baby is different, every trip is different, but I figured I’ll share my two cents with you incase you are itching to travel with your new baby. My husband and I still cherish that First vacation we all took even though she was little and don’t remember (only the pictures to share). -J-

        • Katherine
          February 15, 2016 at 1:18 pm

          Thanks very much! I really appreciate hearing about your experiences.

      • Mercy
        February 13, 2016 at 1:58 am

        Hi Katherin, I love reading the amazing responses in your post that’s why I always come back here over and over. One of the reasons I only take babies to overseas trip when they are over one year old is because at least they have their full immunisation when they are one. They also get stronger and more resilient and of course are already walking and can communicate more. But I think 2 weeks is max in a country with a different climate with ours here in Australia. He was fine on the first 2 weeks but got sick on the third. But as flawlesskinday said every baby is different and every trip is different so I will just leave it at that.

  • TC
    February 10, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    I’m so very sorry to read about your father’s passing. It must have been very hard.

    I imagine with the big changes you’ve gone through in a short amount of time, it’s good to take time to process it all and find balance.

    Good luck and happy new year to you and your family.

    • Katherine
      February 11, 2016 at 8:15 am

      Thank you, you too TC. I wish you guys a great 2016 🙂

  • Ammu
    February 10, 2016 at 10:44 pm

    What a beautiful post. And baby Feather is gorgeous! I am very sorry to hear about your dad – I remember seeing his photos here a while back – what a painful loss.
    It sounds like you are making the best decisions for yourself, especially if you are able to take in the big picture as well to see how it’s the right thing for you right now. Life is often bittersweet – when I was younger, I used to have a hard time acknowledging it, but it’s become to absorb the mix of joy and melancholy and the sense of time passing as I have gotten older.

    • Katherine
      February 11, 2016 at 8:16 am

      Hi Ammu, its nice to hear from you – I love your last sentence about the sense of time passing, you’re right that it can be hard to acknowledge..

  • Trang
    February 10, 2016 at 11:10 pm

    Hi Katherine! What a wonderful post and baby Feather is just too cute! My son is probably a month older than Baby Feather and I just went back to work when he turned six months and it was a very difficult choice. I’m lucky that my mom will help me watching him for a bit, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be able to do it. Have you started thinking about daycare choices or nanny options when you go back to work? Bay Area can be quite crazy with waitlist at good pre-schools! Congrats on the adorable little boys and so sorry for the loss of you father – A long time reader 🙂

    • Katherine
      February 11, 2016 at 8:12 am

      Hi Trang, I was thinking I might wait til he was older and do daycare around a year – I keep wavering back and forth though, with the pros and cons of each. You’re lucky to have your mom, if my mom was able to watch him full time I probably would have gone back earlier as well. Are you going to do nanny or daycare later on?

      • Trang
        February 11, 2016 at 2:41 pm

        I’m actually in the process of looking for a nanny. The pro about sending babies to daycare is that you have many eyes looking at your child, directly or through video systems. I actually have two kids, my first one started pre-school when she turned 2 which was perfect I feel. She was old enough to socialize and play with others and it was very benificial for both of us to be away from each other 🙂 The cons of sending babies to daycares is that they get sick…all the times! So maybe get prepared for that because you still need a lot of backup childcare when he may get sick. With my daughter, she was in school for a week and would be out for 10 days because of all kind of sickness. Her 2nd year has been a lot better though now that I think her immune system is a lot stronger. With that, I opt to find nanny, hopefully at least until my son is around 18 months or older before sending him to school. Good luck with your decision either way! I’m in the Bay Area too 🙂

        • Katherine
          February 15, 2016 at 1:15 pm

          That totally makes sense, thank you for sharing your experience Trang. I have heard the same thing about illnesses but perhaps its something I will have to experience to totally understand.

  • elizabeth
    February 11, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    Dear Katherine,

    Maybe your loveliest and most moving post yet.

    I know how almost panicking the idea of stepping away from work can be, but I trust in two things because I have seen them over and over again:

    1) Great people can take time from the workforce for many reasons (children, sabbatical, novel writing, going around the world in a sailboat, even illness or rehab) and they invariably come back stronger and better because they’ve taken care of their other human needs, and done something that was personally meaningful. Breathe, and try not to let that particular bugaboo get you.

    2) Baby Feather will only be a baby for a short while. This is amazing, precious time that you cannot have again. You can create at work until you’re ninety if you wish….enjoy the time with your gorgeous son. It will never, ever, ever not have been beyond well worth it.


    • Katherine
      February 15, 2016 at 1:14 pm

      Thanks so much Elizabeth! I love both of your points, so encouraging 🙂

  • Ava Lon
    February 11, 2016 at 10:03 pm

    Dearest Katherine,

    Goodness! If Baby Feather isn’t THE handsomest baby ever! Holy moly, look at that face! Don’t worry about finding new mom friends, all the little girls and boys will all be wanting to befriend that sweet little cherub! OMG he is so adorable! I hope he’s an easygoing baby, but I guess you won’t realize what “easygoing” is until Baby #2 – lol!

    Happy Belated New Year! Goodness, where do you find the energy to attend parties, move, renovate, etc AND raise Baby Feather? Cute pic with the seals! You look stunning!!! We spend NY with family, quiet, you know. 😉

    Congratulations on the move and the renovation! Woo hoo! It’s finally done! I am so curious how your new home looks especially given how different you mentioned your taste and Mr. Feather’s are – I bet it makes for really gorgeous interiors!

    Your “redistribution” and “now, there is a new normal” comments had me howling. Oh come on, I bet at least some of the “re-allocation of wealth” went to the north as well to make Mr. Feather happy – lol 😉 Seriously, though, you look better than ever – really. Whatever you’re doing, the walking, it is really working for you!

    You will never regret taking the time off from work to spend with Baby Feather. Yes, you will feel guilty bc, well, we’re workaholics, but I think your company would appreciate how much time you put in and you are so fortunate to take off almost a year – relish in it and savor it. As soon as Baby Feather is in school (trust me the time will fly) you will be right back at work. 😉

    To help with your walks if your find them too monotonous, if you go to your local library I am sure they will have these:
    they are great to listen to and zone out while Baby Feather is sleeping and you’re enjoying the scenery of your walks. I envy all the time you have to walk alone…I am surrounded by people all the time and I CRAVE and CHERISH any second I get of peace and quiet! Your walks sound so peaceful and meditative, I hope you enjoy them! 🙂

    I know exactly what you mean about joy and loneliness. I don’t mean to sound too New Age-y but on your long walks when you’re alone, it might be a good time to talk to your dad out loud as if he were by your side. A dear, close friend of mine (who also reads your blog) who lost her dad when we had lost ours told me about this and it’s oddly cathartic and surprising. I don’t do it often, but every now and then when I have a moment to myself, I just tell him how much I miss him and give him a brief update on my life and I feel lighter if that makes sense?

    Sorry this turned into a tome…again!

    Big Hugs,

    • Katherine
      February 15, 2016 at 1:19 pm

      Hi my friend, thank you very much for such a thoughtful comment. I wish you the best 2016 and hope that you and your family have the best year. Happy CNY!

  • Susie Tunes
    February 12, 2016 at 11:59 am

    A lovely, thought provoking post. I’m so sorry about the loss of your Dad. A lot has happened in your life in the last 18 months – I think its good to reflect on it all. No need for guilty feelings about stepping away from work for a while. Take care 💕

    • Katherine
      February 15, 2016 at 1:20 pm

      Thank you Susie!

  • Sonita
    February 13, 2016 at 10:29 am

    Beautiful post, Kat!

    Thank you for sharing. Happy (belated) Chinese New Year and Happy V-Day!

    With hugs and kisses,

    • Katherine
      February 15, 2016 at 1:21 pm

      Thank you Sonita!

  • Jessica
    February 29, 2016 at 10:53 pm

    What a beautifully written post. I really enjoyed reading it. I could relate on so many aspects including my father passing away a few years back so thank you for expressing your thoughts so beautifully.

    • Jessica
      February 29, 2016 at 11:01 pm

      Oh by the way, this may never happen to you but just thought I should share. My 2nd son was a preemie so I had to pump breast milk for the first 9 months. I had a lot of milk so I ended up donating 22 gallons! Anyhow, with all that pumping I lost all my pregnancy weight plus more but as soon as I stopped breastfeeding the weight crept back 🙁 So be careful to continue to watch what you eat and keep up with the exercise especially after you stop breastfeeding.

      • Katherine
        March 1, 2016 at 8:05 pm

        Thanks very much Jessica, I”m sorry to hear about your dad 🙂 I’ll be careful when I stop breastfeeding…I’ve been told that too!